Eating the Whole Pizza

So after much waiting and concern that lodged itself in the back of my heart, I finally got to go to the doctor and have a work up to determine what was injured during a bad fall I had a year and a half ago.

Fortunately, my back, damaged from a childhood car accident, is no worse than before. Whatever happened that made the signal drop from my brain to my right leg so I couldn't move it,has repaired itself.

But they discovered I the joke I've made since I was nine, that the doctors put my leg back in wrong when they reinserted , or whatever it is doctors do to a completely dislocated right hip, my joint. X-rays showed that the top of the ball of my right hip looks like uncarved concrete and the edge of the socket has been worn away by the constant abrasion of bone on bone.

Hip replacement time. Better living through titanium or whatever it is they are going to put into it. Surgery that will be a little bit complicated because of the extreme nature of my condition would be imminent except...

I need to lose a hundred pounds. Over the last four decades I've managed to put on about twenty five pounds a decade. More really because I've already lost twenty five pounds before the fall.

So...it's carbs only in the morning and then veggies and fruits and proteins in the afternoon and evening. Portion control, rules like ' no eating in a moving car', no eating after 8PM, and lots of water have been established as the gold standard of behavior , by me.

Putting all those rules into play? Not so easy. Take today. So I decide I can go out to breakfast with the church ladies, and (portion control, carbs only in the morning) half a half order of a single blueberry pancake with an egg and , oh all right, a piece of bacon. Salads the rest of the day coming my way.

Mid afternoon, I head to a place with a great salad. See I'm single,and frequently I get into sentimental shopping if I go to a store. I buy like there were still people in my house, well, and like I had a house. So sometimes eating out is cheaper. There on the menu I see Tostada Salad. I like the mix and figure I can save the shell for another time. Fifteen minutes later, after paying what seemed an exorbitant price, the waitress says to me, 'Your pizza is coming" PIZZA!!?? I didn't order a pizza. "Yes you did," she says. "You ordered the tostada pizza". What?? "You ordered a small tostada pizza" she says, cheerily. "And you'll love it!" Trust me, loving it was not going to be the challenge.

OK... so too much challenge...I've been craving pizza for literally weeks. Let's just say over the course of the next three hours...well... there were no leftovers eventually. It really was salad on a pizza crust, a chewy gooey pizza crust.

Moving past our mistakes, our times we give into temptation, our failures is one the most challenging arts of life.

Tonight I will force myself to go into the pool and do water walking, maybe. I'm pretty tired right now. I may fail twice in one day. But this I promise myself. I will do something to remind myself I am still committed to my goal of doing what I need to do to make my goal of a new hip replacement in a year.

That's how you move past a slip up, a down right deliberate much regretted bad choice. You just remind yourself that you are still committed to a change in direction towards healthier living.  And you rejoice that what you did is unusual. I don't eat a whole pizza everyday. Odds are I never will again. I'll remember to triple check exactly what I've ordered. New rule to add, 'When eating out, asks more questions'.
Love,
Deborah