Comfort Food

I did this really exciting daring thing, for me, this past Sunday. Our worship fellowship -- I hesitate to call it a church since we're really an espresso bar/meeting hall that sets up chairs on Sundays for worship-- holds an open mic on the fourth Sunday of every month. For the last couple of times I haven't had anything to share, but I had this idea brewing. Anyway, I had this really exciting week of fun activities this past week, some kids over to make cookies and a meal --two separate occasions-- and a Raffi concert with two of my little friends and a client Mom who drove us and had lunch with us,--and we got to meet him and talk with him one on one afterwards-- and then a chance to play the piano again for a hymn sing for memory care residents at an extended care residency and a blowout concert with several different choirs at the Total Experience Gospel Choir anniversary concert ....

And I really wanted to share that. Plus... I've been thinking a deep thought about how I switch into dating mode again. I've really been thinking a lot about wanting to be partnered with someone.Or do I? or can I? And how do you get to marriage?...again?

And I've been thinking about how old I am, and how time has passed and how I miss my kids all the time.

So, suddenly, this idea I had in the back of my mind for ever such the longest time, to try stand up came pressing forward. I had someone put my name on the list, and I got up, and with only a trail of where I wanted to start and where I wanted to end up, did my thing for five minutes.

AND IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!!!  How do I know it was successful? Well, for one thing, they laughed, and I felt totally relaxed and it worked and two ladies came up afterwards and asked if we could be friends.

Ever since then I have chastised myself ever so quietly in the back of my heart about being inappropriate and ostracizing myself from some church circles because of things I said.  I know those thoughts and feelings are not coming from God.

Nonetheless, they make me want to run back to my comfort zone of being likeable and affable and not putting myself out there in ways that make others look at me in condemning ways.

There are times for comfort food; times of fellowship and board games, times of rainy day movie watching marathons, times of returning to home, wherever that may be and doing sentimental cultural eating.

We can make our lives like eating comfort food too. But most of the time I believe that we are, even in the most desperate of times, meant to be adventurers.

Right now I am trying to carve out a dependable extension to my earlier life's path. But in that, I have discovered, I am only able to do so when I lean into adventure full force.

Make sure there is adventure in your day today. The Love of Adventure is the only way to find comfort in an uncertain world.
Love,
Deborah

Oh Crap

If the wheels of justice grind exceedingly slowly...the wheels of daily life just about fall off the darn car!

This is one of those weeks. I don't have them very often. It always seems to be linked to October. Too much emphasis on the spiritual dark side. All that evil gets excited.

Anyway...so I'm having a downer week and what do you do with that. Well.. I resigned from two committees and that made me feel better. I ate some bad stuff that had sugar that soothed me and then made me feel guilty as could be. Not a good choice, but don't think I would make another one given the circumstances. And I cried a little, a lot. Watched 'The Wedding Date'.

In the end, I decided I have just have to keep busy and let things work out. I'll focus on my business stuff and try to tackle the big problems with pragmatism and just let time pass.

Time and Crap happen to all....sometimes you don't let it be...sometimes... you let it pass.
Love,
Deborah