Peanut Butter and Jelly

Treading water in a pool for  an hour while I play audience to a six year old totally smitten with swimming and completely outfitted with flippers and goggles is exhausting

So upon returning home I wanted only a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Two of them in fact.

I use grape jelly or jam and creamy peanut butter. Sometimes I'll put a little real butter under the peanut butter. It's a lovely ooey gooey mess. I make sure it's not too full between the slices. White bread is best because it compresses when squeezed. I eat the sandwich in a circle starting with the crusts and continuing inward. I take teeny tiny mice bites. I wash it down with milk or water or some other neutral flavoured drink.

It is utterly satisfying.
There are lots of opportunities for sophisticated  moments in life, at least in the first and second Worlds.  But there are also those moments that demand simplicity, ritual and comfort.

Such was tonight. I brought a little balance to the adventure in my life right now.    Now, I'm going to bed.

Love,
Deborah

From Whence I've Come

The direction of the Spirit was clear this morning. 'Forget the past. Do not dwell on the things of old.  Behold, I do a new thing.' (Isaiah 43:19)

So what did I do? Jumped in the car and immediately drove a complete loop around every place I had lived in the last twenty years.

My disobedience notwithstanding, God rode with me and showed my heart , simultaneously, what I was leaving and how far I'd come. I sat in the presence of my former unbelief , or rather my believer's mind that had no root in my heart. I remembered when I friend asked me, almost two decades ago, ''Don't you believe God has a plan for your life?'. I searched my memory files and answered, in "'No.' In the next instant, having realized that was not the correct Jeopardy answer in the game of theological assumptions, I let my answer move from response to an item on my 'to do list': find out God' purpose for my life.

As I realized how far I've come, how far God has brought me, I realized leaving the past in the past,
letting the dead bury the dead, is letting go of nothing  more of memories that, if deleted or put in a folder would make more room for living in the present.

I'm taking a deep breath and examining  the possibility that what I'm really afraid of is not letting more God into my life. As I remember God loves me and is completely trustworthy, I can move forward more in tune with my present circumstances and God's purpose for me. The issue becomes not release, but surrender.

Somedays my baby steps embarrass me and somedays my baby steps feel like giant leaps of faith.
Love,
Deborah

Potluck

Summertime, and the All American potluck is in full swing; as sacred a meal as God ever created.
It's the event that taught me the existence of Maifun Chicken Salad and green beens with bacon.

For a meal, it's awesome. A buffet of cultural variety with each cook bringing their best. Yum... Definite happy mouth experience!

In life, not so much. I am a person who can deal with many situations at once; vastly  differing situations. I don't like to, but I'm good at it. I like things tidy and neat on a smaller scale.  Nonetheless God has dished out this life that is akin to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at Disneyland.

So I've decided that just as I learned not to go through a potluck line scooping up a big spoon of each dish, I need to be circumspect about what I choose to respond to or who I choose to be in relationship with. Call it 'relational or event portion control'.
There. That's better. Much easier to digest and a happier experience.
Love,
Deborah