From Whence I've Come

The direction of the Spirit was clear this morning. 'Forget the past. Do not dwell on the things of old.  Behold, I do a new thing.' (Isaiah 43:19)

So what did I do? Jumped in the car and immediately drove a complete loop around every place I had lived in the last twenty years.

My disobedience notwithstanding, God rode with me and showed my heart , simultaneously, what I was leaving and how far I'd come. I sat in the presence of my former unbelief , or rather my believer's mind that had no root in my heart. I remembered when I friend asked me, almost two decades ago, ''Don't you believe God has a plan for your life?'. I searched my memory files and answered, in "'No.' In the next instant, having realized that was not the correct Jeopardy answer in the game of theological assumptions, I let my answer move from response to an item on my 'to do list': find out God' purpose for my life.

As I realized how far I've come, how far God has brought me, I realized leaving the past in the past,
letting the dead bury the dead, is letting go of nothing  more of memories that, if deleted or put in a folder would make more room for living in the present.

I'm taking a deep breath and examining  the possibility that what I'm really afraid of is not letting more God into my life. As I remember God loves me and is completely trustworthy, I can move forward more in tune with my present circumstances and God's purpose for me. The issue becomes not release, but surrender.

Somedays my baby steps embarrass me and somedays my baby steps feel like giant leaps of faith.
Love,
Deborah